Friday, 9 April 2010

Babies, weightloss and sleepless nights

This blog is mostly a place to share my weightloss ramblings, however this morning I feel the need to blog about my baby boy Carson.

I've been co-sleeping with Carson but feel its time he slept in his own space, being woken up because he wants to feed every half an hour is just not on! Co-sleeping came about after 2 weeks of no sleep and accidently falling asleep on the sofa with Carson when he was a newborn, at this point I realised we needed a new solution as the sofa is a very dangerous place for a small baby. He was never one of those babies that was happy to sleep in his moses basket or his cot, from day 1 he has only ever been happy sleeping on/or with me and Shaun. However we had an incident a few weeks ago when Carson decided to stop breathing and since then I've felt alot happier with him in his cot with the breathing monitor rather than sleeping next to me. I worry so much that he'll stop breathing in the night and I won't realise!

Carson spent his first full night in his cot last night, thanks mostly to his Daddy who got up alot during the night to settle him. This morning I'm feeling very pleased with Carson and rather guilty as we were meant to be sharing the task and I for various reason's seem to have done alot less than half the work. I'd like to add this isn't entirely due to me being a lazy moo but still feeling mighty guilty. Oh well hopefully I'm making up to Shaun a little as I've brought Carson downstairs to let him get some sleep.

I love my baby boy more than anything but I have to say no matter how hard people tell you having a baby is you never believe them. I found it alot like my perception of learning drive, I know this sounds odd but bear with me. Before I had my first lesson I thought well so many people drive how hard can it be. Then I get in the car for my lesson and he starts explaining how I'm supposed to be doing about 5 things at once, 6 months later I pass my test first time and 5 years later I drive without thinking and can't imgine life without my car. This is exactly how I felt about having a baby, how hard can it be? Well trust me alot harder than you'd ever believe, trying to juggle normal life and a baby seems impossible sometimes. Despite this I still feel its time to get rid of this weight once and for all. So on to weightloss matters....

In 3 days I have earnt 8 activity points and I'm feeling rather pleased about that. I've been walking, gone back to the gym for the first time since before I was pregnant and done an exercise dvd! The gym wasn't as bad as I was expecting, before I fell pregnant I'd managed to jog for 5 minutes on the treadmill. Well yesterday I jogged for 3 minutes out of 10, doesn't sound much right but to me thats huge. Jogging and me have just never seen eye to eye but I think its one of the best ways of improving my fitness level. Hoping I can do at least 3 minutes or more next time. I have creche time booked for Tuesday and Friday morning and shock shock horror I'm actually looking forward to getting back to the gym.

I'm loving the new me - being a Mummy, feeling motivated and enjoying life. It feels a world away from the person I was before I had Carson. I was an anxious wreck who felt out of control of my life and generally worthless. Now I remember that I'm not worthless Shaun, Carson and my family love me and now I just need to learn to love me too!

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