It always feels like a long wait until the next weigh in, but then it comes round so quick. I'm happy to report I lost a lb which I'm very happy about considering the last two days!
Since the bbq on Sunday I have just had so little motivation and felt under the weather so have struggled so much. I gave in yesterday and had a bit of a blow out, this behaviour then continued into today despite planning ahead. I'm going to make sure it stops today and work hard this week to ensure it doesn't catch up with me on the scales next week.
I'm now only 2lbs away from my next silver seven which will take my total weight loss to 2 stone so keeping that in mind I'm going to work my butt off this week!
Wednesday 28 April 2010
Sunday 25 April 2010
Grrr BBQ's and 7.
We were invited over to my in laws (to be) today for a bbq. We spoke to them on friday and they reassured us that they'd have chicken and some weight watchers friendly foods. However due to the weather we had an inside bbq. This meant that instead of being grilled chicken my father in law decided to fry the chicken! Grrrr!! Then there was only sausages and burgers - you could say well why didn't I just say no but we didn't have a choice what went on our plate. Also they get kind of offended if we don't eat their food - we'd even offered to bring our own! It all just sounds like excuses now I write it down. Ah well its a place where I'm going to have to watch my points in the future. I still didn't go mad and I'm over for the day by 11 points, however I had 5.5 activity points so according to my tracker I'm only over by 5.5. To help make it up a bit I'm going to save a few from the next two days before weigh in and hope it doesn't affect my weight loss too much. Not holding out much hope for 3lb loss this week.
Still this is an improvment from my attitude before as if I'd gone over my points I would have just said sod it and had a really big blow out. There would have been no tracking either but I found tracking it help control the damage, so all in all a good learning experience. Anyway on to point number 7.
7. Find your strength and play to it
The bits I like:
The bottom half of my legs
My bum
I like my hair (but need to pay it a little more attention)
My boobs aren't too bad either
I am starting to pay more attention to myself and play to my strengths. For instance I wore my straight leg jeans today with my gorgeous boots. The outfit shows off my legs and I wore a longer top to cover my tummy and top of my legs. I felt really confident today and haven't worn these jeans since before I was pregnant but they fit again yay!
As I lose more weight and I can shop in 'normal' shops again I'm going to start doing this more. It seems that I can already pick out my positive features now I just need to learn how to emphasise (sp?) the good bits and play down the wobbly bits!
(p.s. please excuse any spelling mistakes typos etc I'm shattered tonight as we've had a really busy weekend.)
Still this is an improvment from my attitude before as if I'd gone over my points I would have just said sod it and had a really big blow out. There would have been no tracking either but I found tracking it help control the damage, so all in all a good learning experience. Anyway on to point number 7.
7. Find your strength and play to it
The bits I like:
The bottom half of my legs
My bum
I like my hair (but need to pay it a little more attention)
My boobs aren't too bad either
I am starting to pay more attention to myself and play to my strengths. For instance I wore my straight leg jeans today with my gorgeous boots. The outfit shows off my legs and I wore a longer top to cover my tummy and top of my legs. I felt really confident today and haven't worn these jeans since before I was pregnant but they fit again yay!
As I lose more weight and I can shop in 'normal' shops again I'm going to start doing this more. It seems that I can already pick out my positive features now I just need to learn how to emphasise (sp?) the good bits and play down the wobbly bits!
(p.s. please excuse any spelling mistakes typos etc I'm shattered tonight as we've had a really busy weekend.)
Friday 23 April 2010
Ah my baby is growing up
He crawled for the first time tonight! I'm so proud of him and thinking we really need to get a baby gate tomorrow! He's 6 months old and I honestly thought it'd be a bit longer before he crawled. Ah he's growing up before I know it he'll be walking :D
6. Laugh in the face of celebrity magazines
Muhahahahahaha hehehehehe losers!!
Done and done! I honestly think celebrity magazines are a big load of rubbish. A complete waste of money and time. The women are all airbrushed, the men tend to be the ones who are so vein and live at the gym looking at themselves in the mirror constantly. Basically I'm not interested in what so and so is doing or what they are eating or what they are buying. Thats my only bug bear about this book is the constant references to what the celebs are doing.
So I can honestly say I am not one of those women who longs to look like a certain 'perfect' celeb. I actually do want my body I just want it to be slimmer - me and my body agree this would be best for both of us.
Once again I've struggled today. I've used my points for today but I'm craving a weight watchers dessert which would put me 3 points over again! I really need to try and have jelly rather than anything with points. So going to try and stay away from the kitchen, I know I'll feel better for it if I do. On the other hand if that dessert happens to slip into my hand and I discover the bottom of the pot I'm not going to feel to bad about it. I'd rather go over by 3 than go over by 30. Its been one of those days where I could have quite happily had a major binge. I'm hoping its just because Carson is having a growth spurt.
We did have a gorgeous shish chicken kebab for dinner and I was completely shocked to find it was only 4 points! How amazing is that - I then had chips with it but still within my points.
Done and done! I honestly think celebrity magazines are a big load of rubbish. A complete waste of money and time. The women are all airbrushed, the men tend to be the ones who are so vein and live at the gym looking at themselves in the mirror constantly. Basically I'm not interested in what so and so is doing or what they are eating or what they are buying. Thats my only bug bear about this book is the constant references to what the celebs are doing.
So I can honestly say I am not one of those women who longs to look like a certain 'perfect' celeb. I actually do want my body I just want it to be slimmer - me and my body agree this would be best for both of us.
Once again I've struggled today. I've used my points for today but I'm craving a weight watchers dessert which would put me 3 points over again! I really need to try and have jelly rather than anything with points. So going to try and stay away from the kitchen, I know I'll feel better for it if I do. On the other hand if that dessert happens to slip into my hand and I discover the bottom of the pot I'm not going to feel to bad about it. I'd rather go over by 3 than go over by 30. Its been one of those days where I could have quite happily had a major binge. I'm hoping its just because Carson is having a growth spurt.
We did have a gorgeous shish chicken kebab for dinner and I was completely shocked to find it was only 4 points! How amazing is that - I then had chips with it but still within my points.
Thursday 22 April 2010
5. Use your brain not your fork
"The human mind is alot like the human child. Tell it not to do something and it want it more than any other little thing on the face of the earth."
Basically deprivation will only encourage rebellion and ultimately going back to the old eating habits. I don't need to talk about this one too much as I can honestly say I am allowing myself the foods I like in moderation. Since being back at weight watchers I have had several chinese takeaways, cheese, chocolate (usually a curly wurly), chips when we went to the beach, a Mr whippy ice cream and so on. In fact I discovered green and blacks milk and white chocolate the other day. I also realised I can buy a larger bar and eat it over several days, not in one sitting.
This isn't something I've ever done when doing weight watchers in the past. Previously I would always try and change my diet right from the off to the ultimate in healthy. I would feel guily for eating any 'bad' food but this time I'm just accepting that the overall change is for the better. Eventually I want to be eating a well balanced diet but for the time being I'm happy with positive changes and I will not deprive myself. Seems to be working so can't complain.
Ha after saying all that I'm going to start talking about how the last few days I've been struggling to stay within my points. It did however twig today that I think Carson is having his 6 month growth spurt. He's feeding so much and I've been feeling pretty exhusted. I remembered not to beat myself up to much as if he's feeding alot I'm having to make more milk and so I'm likely to be hungrier than usual. Also when I say struggling I mean I've gone over by between 1-3 points the last couple of days. This is easily fixed though and there's plenty of time between now and weigh in so I'm not worried.
Basically deprivation will only encourage rebellion and ultimately going back to the old eating habits. I don't need to talk about this one too much as I can honestly say I am allowing myself the foods I like in moderation. Since being back at weight watchers I have had several chinese takeaways, cheese, chocolate (usually a curly wurly), chips when we went to the beach, a Mr whippy ice cream and so on. In fact I discovered green and blacks milk and white chocolate the other day. I also realised I can buy a larger bar and eat it over several days, not in one sitting.
This isn't something I've ever done when doing weight watchers in the past. Previously I would always try and change my diet right from the off to the ultimate in healthy. I would feel guily for eating any 'bad' food but this time I'm just accepting that the overall change is for the better. Eventually I want to be eating a well balanced diet but for the time being I'm happy with positive changes and I will not deprive myself. Seems to be working so can't complain.
Ha after saying all that I'm going to start talking about how the last few days I've been struggling to stay within my points. It did however twig today that I think Carson is having his 6 month growth spurt. He's feeding so much and I've been feeling pretty exhusted. I remembered not to beat myself up to much as if he's feeding alot I'm having to make more milk and so I'm likely to be hungrier than usual. Also when I say struggling I mean I've gone over by between 1-3 points the last couple of days. This is easily fixed though and there's plenty of time between now and weigh in so I'm not worried.
Weigh in!
I lost 2lbs! I'm pleased with this and now only 3lbs away from the 2 stone mark and have lost 25lbs overall, yay! I'm really going to buckle down this week and try not to use my activity points. I would love a 3lb loss next week but would be happy with any loss. I guess theres no harm in trying for the 3lb though, even if I don't get there next week its still good to get back to basics and check that my foundations are strong.
So this week plenty of exercise, weigh and measure everything, no guessing. I'm going to try and eat more fruit and veg as well.
So this week plenty of exercise, weigh and measure everything, no guessing. I'm going to try and eat more fruit and veg as well.
Wednesday 21 April 2010
Having a picky day & 4. Stop worshipping thin...
... and love the skin your in.
"Its hardly a revelation to note that as a society we are obsessed to the point of distraction by thin - associating it, as a recent survey found, with success. By the tender age of 6 , most girls are dissatisfied with their bodies and want to be thinner..."
The starting paragraph of this section and it couldn't be more true. I remember feeling fat in primary school at around the age of 5 or 6. Since then I have always felt fat and high school only encouraged this belief. I mean don't get me wrong I was never a stick but there was a time in my early teens when I wore a size 10 (and thought I was huge!). I guess I had a growth spurt early and so was quite tall in primary school, I then levelled out to be a respectable 5ft 7 and instead I became obsessed about my weight growing larger outwards every year. By the time I left high school I was nearing 15stone.
I first joined weight watchers when I was only 15 and it was no where near the first diet I'd been on. I remember taking slim fast cans to school for lunch when I was what 13/14years old. Now I look back and feel like such a fool. To be a size 18 again would be wo
nderful, I look back on photos from college and school with envy. My prom photos I looked fantastic but didn't really believe it at the time (me at my college prom 17yrs old).
So what I'm going to remember is that I'm doing something about it now and I don't ever want to be any bigger. However instead of beating myself up about how big I've let myself get I should appreciate who I am now. I don't want to be looking back in 5-10yrs thinking I wish I was a size 24 now. I'm going to make sure that doesn;t happen but I think one of things to help that is to appreciate what I have right now.
I can still move around fine, I'm actually not too unfit for my size, I did my gold duke of edinburgh award when I weighed 15stone and it was hard but no one thought I would cope with all the walking and I did, now just to prove everyone wrong regarding losing weight (including myself) . I can do it and I am not worthless. I do like parts of my body, for instance I'm rather fond of my bottom and my legs are nice too, so no more hating!
Well that all looks good on paper/screen lets see if I can actually start believing it!
Anyway onto today, its weigh in tonight and I'm looking forward to it. For some reason though I'm having a really picky day. I'm still within points at the moment and have enough left for dinner but no more snacks. I normally leave around 12points for the evening but today I've only got 6.5points left. Not sure whats wrong with me but need to make sure this doesn't become a full on binge! So I'm putting a stop to it now - if I got 1-2 points over in order to have a snack thats fine but no going mad. I know I'll feel better for sticking as close to my points as possible and if I binge I'll only regret it. Hoping blogging will nip this snacking in the bud!
Oh and here's a few more school days photos to remind me what I had and never appreciated and what I can have again one day soon!
"Its hardly a revelation to note that as a society we are obsessed to the point of distraction by thin - associating it, as a recent survey found, with success. By the tender age of 6 , most girls are dissatisfied with their bodies and want to be thinner..."
The starting paragraph of this section and it couldn't be more true. I remember feeling fat in primary school at around the age of 5 or 6. Since then I have always felt fat and high school only encouraged this belief. I mean don't get me wrong I was never a stick but there was a time in my early teens when I wore a size 10 (and thought I was huge!). I guess I had a growth spurt early and so was quite tall in primary school, I then levelled out to be a respectable 5ft 7 and instead I became obsessed about my weight growing larger outwards every year. By the time I left high school I was nearing 15stone.
I first joined weight watchers when I was only 15 and it was no where near the first diet I'd been on. I remember taking slim fast cans to school for lunch when I was what 13/14years old. Now I look back and feel like such a fool. To be a size 18 again would be wo
nderful, I look back on photos from college and school with envy. My prom photos I looked fantastic but didn't really believe it at the time (me at my college prom 17yrs old).So what I'm going to remember is that I'm doing something about it now and I don't ever want to be any bigger. However instead of beating myself up about how big I've let myself get I should appreciate who I am now. I don't want to be looking back in 5-10yrs thinking I wish I was a size 24 now. I'm going to make sure that doesn;t happen but I think one of things to help that is to appreciate what I have right now.I can still move around fine, I'm actually not too unfit for my size, I did my gold duke of edinburgh award when I weighed 15stone and it was hard but no one thought I would cope with all the walking and I did, now just to prove everyone wrong regarding losing weight (including myself) . I can do it and I am not worthless. I do like parts of my body, for instance I'm rather fond of my bottom and my legs are nice too, so no more hating!
Well that all looks good on paper/screen lets see if I can actually start believing it!
Anyway onto today, its weigh in tonight and I'm looking forward to it. For some reason though I'm having a really picky day. I'm still within points at the moment and have enough left for dinner but no more snacks. I normally leave around 12points for the evening but today I've only got 6.5points left. Not sure whats wrong with me but need to make sure this doesn't become a full on binge! So I'm putting a stop to it now - if I got 1-2 points over in order to have a snack thats fine but no going mad. I know I'll feel better for sticking as close to my points as possible and if I binge I'll only regret it. Hoping blogging will nip this snacking in the bud!
Oh and here's a few more school days photos to remind me what I had and never appreciated and what I can have again one day soon!
Tuesday 20 April 2010
3. Open your eyes and recognize your worth
This point is about recognizing who you are and about accepting that we only get one body so may as well learn to live it, even come to love it. Starting with actually taking a chance a look at my body in its full glory - oh no that means naked (don't worry I won't be sharing this lol). I usually avoid looking at myself in the mirror for too long. However I guess the road to acceptance starts today not from when I hit the magic number on the scales and I'm declared slim.
So later today I'm going to take a few minutes to look at what I look like now rather than just dreaming of the day when it all looks different. There are parts of my body I like and I'm not completely terrified of the mirror so should be a positive experience.
On other notes, its been a difficult couple of days as Shaun has had to be in work mega early meaning I've had to be awake at just gone 4am to drive him to work for 6. Its meant that the last two days have been so long. Longer days means more time to eat! So I've struggled to stay within my points. Luckily I've done loads of walking this week so stacked up a fair few activity points and I didn't use all my points so had a few in reserve. I only went over by 2.5points yesterday and because of what I had saved and activity I didn't really go over at all. Today has been the same but should manage to stay within my points. I'm quite pleased with this and hope that it proves that even on the long days when I'm shattered I can still do it. Normal service is to return tomorrow so providing Carson doesn't wake up at 4 I should get a tad more sleep tonight, yay!
I have also re-discovered no added sugar jelly - a whole 0 points and with a 1/2 point vanilla yoghurt its just a lovely snack. I must discover more things like this to help with the difficult times.
Anyway I guess that about sums up the last 2 days - Weigh in tomorrow and fingers crossed for another good result.
So later today I'm going to take a few minutes to look at what I look like now rather than just dreaming of the day when it all looks different. There are parts of my body I like and I'm not completely terrified of the mirror so should be a positive experience.
On other notes, its been a difficult couple of days as Shaun has had to be in work mega early meaning I've had to be awake at just gone 4am to drive him to work for 6. Its meant that the last two days have been so long. Longer days means more time to eat! So I've struggled to stay within my points. Luckily I've done loads of walking this week so stacked up a fair few activity points and I didn't use all my points so had a few in reserve. I only went over by 2.5points yesterday and because of what I had saved and activity I didn't really go over at all. Today has been the same but should manage to stay within my points. I'm quite pleased with this and hope that it proves that even on the long days when I'm shattered I can still do it. Normal service is to return tomorrow so providing Carson doesn't wake up at 4 I should get a tad more sleep tonight, yay!
I have also re-discovered no added sugar jelly - a whole 0 points and with a 1/2 point vanilla yoghurt its just a lovely snack. I must discover more things like this to help with the difficult times.
Anyway I guess that about sums up the last 2 days - Weigh in tomorrow and fingers crossed for another good result.
Monday 19 April 2010
2. Believe that you are beautiful
This is harder said than done when I'm surrounded by a world telling me fat is ugly and thin is gorgeous. Being told I have a pretty face and I carry it well - hmmm doesn't fill me with confidence.
I think this is something I'm going to have to learn over time. For the most part I don't even like myself, let alone love myself and believe I'm beautiful. I know Shaun thinks I am and doesn't uderstand why I have such a deep self loathing. This self loathing and feeling of worthlessness led me to have quite severe anxiety. Before I feel pregnant with Carson I was an anxious wreck to the point I couldn't face leaving the house some days and had panic attacks. Being pregnant put things in perspective and really help mellow me out a bit.
Since having Carson and getting my cycle back I've noticed some anxious thoughts creeping back in but no where near as bad as before. The worst bit is the constant thoughts about death and losing the people I love. I have vivid thoughts of Carson being hurt, or worse, on a daily basis. I've learnt to dismiss them but some of the thoughts can be very upsetting. Its funny how thinking about this point has led me onto my anxiety problem but I guess the two come hand in hand. Like I say this is something I'm going to have to work on but it has been nice to think about how much life has improved and how much better my anxiety is these days. Life is good at the moment and I can actually say I'm very happy. So we still have money problems and my weight and self image needs to improve, but for the most part I am a happy bunny.
Ah its nice to remember the good things in life! :)
I think this is something I'm going to have to learn over time. For the most part I don't even like myself, let alone love myself and believe I'm beautiful. I know Shaun thinks I am and doesn't uderstand why I have such a deep self loathing. This self loathing and feeling of worthlessness led me to have quite severe anxiety. Before I feel pregnant with Carson I was an anxious wreck to the point I couldn't face leaving the house some days and had panic attacks. Being pregnant put things in perspective and really help mellow me out a bit.
Since having Carson and getting my cycle back I've noticed some anxious thoughts creeping back in but no where near as bad as before. The worst bit is the constant thoughts about death and losing the people I love. I have vivid thoughts of Carson being hurt, or worse, on a daily basis. I've learnt to dismiss them but some of the thoughts can be very upsetting. Its funny how thinking about this point has led me onto my anxiety problem but I guess the two come hand in hand. Like I say this is something I'm going to have to work on but it has been nice to think about how much life has improved and how much better my anxiety is these days. Life is good at the moment and I can actually say I'm very happy. So we still have money problems and my weight and self image needs to improve, but for the most part I am a happy bunny.
Ah its nice to remember the good things in life! :)
Sunday 18 April 2010
101 things to do before you diet
This is the book I'm reading, I bought it ages ago and its sat on my shelf waiting for me to read it. Well I had a spare 5 minutes and picked it up. I'm finding it quite interesting actually, the writer talks about how we need to accept ourselves before we can begin lose weight and how losing weight isn't the magic fix to all of our problems. She also talks about how faddy 'diets' are a waste of time and actually probably make us fatter in the long run. She also asks you to think about yourself and make changes in your life which will encourage confidence and in time help us lose weight too. So I'm going to take each point and write a post about it and how it relates to me. I really want to make this weight loss a lifelong change and change my perception of myself.
1. Don't read diet books
This is so true. Why do we waste money on the next quick fix diet book in the first place? I personally don't see weight watchers as a faddy diet. It has encouraged me to change the habits that led me to where I am today (goodness me I sound like I'm part of the advertisment compaign).
In the past I've bought so many books promising me the pounds would drop of off if I eat in certain way, cut of carbs, detox, click my heels together three times and think of being slim, well anyway you get the point basically a load of old rubbish. I do wonder how much money I've wasted on these faddy books?
I'm going to make a promise to myself today that I will never again waste my money on ridiculous diet books promising me the world for just a few of my hard earned £'s. I'm going to remember that trusted old weight watchers will see me through the difficult times and despite the amount of times I've rejoined I know I can be successful if I make proper changes. One step forward at a time (and probably a few backward and side ones too) and I WILL get to goal!
Right only another 100 points to go! I'm aiming to maybe write about one each day and hope that'll it'll keep me focused and give me something to think about other than just the number on the scales. I wonder how much I will have changed in a 100 days time?!
1. Don't read diet books
This is so true. Why do we waste money on the next quick fix diet book in the first place? I personally don't see weight watchers as a faddy diet. It has encouraged me to change the habits that led me to where I am today (goodness me I sound like I'm part of the advertisment compaign).
In the past I've bought so many books promising me the pounds would drop of off if I eat in certain way, cut of carbs, detox, click my heels together three times and think of being slim, well anyway you get the point basically a load of old rubbish. I do wonder how much money I've wasted on these faddy books?
I'm going to make a promise to myself today that I will never again waste my money on ridiculous diet books promising me the world for just a few of my hard earned £'s. I'm going to remember that trusted old weight watchers will see me through the difficult times and despite the amount of times I've rejoined I know I can be successful if I make proper changes. One step forward at a time (and probably a few backward and side ones too) and I WILL get to goal!
Right only another 100 points to go! I'm aiming to maybe write about one each day and hope that'll it'll keep me focused and give me something to think about other than just the number on the scales. I wonder how much I will have changed in a 100 days time?!
Saturday 17 April 2010
Chicken Satay
Was a success! I mentioned it in my previous blog. Well I just cooked it and it was lovely for those people who like a peanut sauce. Not the lowest receipe ever but we have the points so a really nice alternative. It works out at 9.5 points each but that includes rice and the recipe serves 5.
This is what I used:
This is what I used:
Ingredients
 | 1 medium Pepper, red |
| | 4 portion spring onions |
| | 60 g beansprouts |
| | 500 g Chicken, breast, grilled without skin, meat only |
| | 2 tablespoon soy sauce |
| | 1 teaspoon grated ginger root |
| | 1 cube Oxo Chicken Cubes (110ml stock) |
| | 140 g Asda Reduced Fat Smooth Peanut Butter |
| | 150 g Amoy Straight to Wok Medium Noodles |
| | 375 g dried rice |
Its all quiet...
... in my house at the moment. Shaun is asleep cause he's got a migraine and Carson is currently napping. Don't really know what to do with myself when I'm not in Mummy mode so here I am thinking about if I've got anything interesting to blog about.
Still feeling very motivated about losing weight and have so far been swimming today and been for a half an hour walk. I'm really enjoying being more active it makes me feel like doing other things like, believe it or not, housework! I actually went on a mad clear out in the kitchen on Thursday and all my cupboards are now organised. We then went food shopping yesterday and filled them with lots of lovely weight watchers friendly food, yum!
I'm going to have a go at making a satay chicken tonight in a peanut sauce as Shaun is rather fond of the one from the chinese. We even went to Asda especially to get a reduced fat peanut butter - yeah check us out! To be fair asda is pretty much next door to our gym so didn't really have to go out of our way much.
On a non weight loss related point - I'm considering deleting my facebook account. I find myself popping on there most days and for the most part it just annoys me. I enjoy using it as a way of sharing my photo's of Carson with family and thats about it. One person is annoying more than others and I end up getting wound up about their status changes. I just feel like I'm not really getting anything out of it but while I have an account I'll be drawn to going on there. I dunno - its one of those things where I might end up offending people if I delete my account... so something to ponder I guess. Thats why I haven't shared this blog with any of my friends and family its a nice place to let off steam and say whatever I like without the worry of stepping on anyones toes (and trust me you'd know if I'd stepped on your toes hehe!).
Anyway it looks like Carson might be waking up so back into to Mummy mode I go!
Still feeling very motivated about losing weight and have so far been swimming today and been for a half an hour walk. I'm really enjoying being more active it makes me feel like doing other things like, believe it or not, housework! I actually went on a mad clear out in the kitchen on Thursday and all my cupboards are now organised. We then went food shopping yesterday and filled them with lots of lovely weight watchers friendly food, yum!
I'm going to have a go at making a satay chicken tonight in a peanut sauce as Shaun is rather fond of the one from the chinese. We even went to Asda especially to get a reduced fat peanut butter - yeah check us out! To be fair asda is pretty much next door to our gym so didn't really have to go out of our way much.
On a non weight loss related point - I'm considering deleting my facebook account. I find myself popping on there most days and for the most part it just annoys me. I enjoy using it as a way of sharing my photo's of Carson with family and thats about it. One person is annoying more than others and I end up getting wound up about their status changes. I just feel like I'm not really getting anything out of it but while I have an account I'll be drawn to going on there. I dunno - its one of those things where I might end up offending people if I delete my account... so something to ponder I guess. Thats why I haven't shared this blog with any of my friends and family its a nice place to let off steam and say whatever I like without the worry of stepping on anyones toes (and trust me you'd know if I'd stepped on your toes hehe!).
Anyway it looks like Carson might be waking up so back into to Mummy mode I go!
Wednesday 14 April 2010
Weigh in!
I lost 3 lbs this week and got my 3rd silver seven! I'm very pleased with that. I've now set my next mini target of getting my next silver seven which is 5lbs away, then I'm going to aim for my 10% which is only another 2.5lbs and then getting in the 18's! So 3 small targets to look forward to in the near future.
Tuesday 13 April 2010
Feeling run down
Not feeling my best at the moment I have a cold and have pretty much lost my voice (shaun's enjoying the peace and quiet!). Its also my TOTM which is annoying as due to breastfeeding it was about 9 weeks after my last one grrr. Also I'm breastfeeding my little monkey every 2-3hrs day and night. Oh yeah and doing weight watchers arrggghhh! Its all a little overwhelming for my poor body and I'm feeling the strain. Carson is still teething as well and so not getting a huge amount of sleep.
This has kind of led me on to another body related point which is worrying me. I recently got told I have gallstones following several months of on and off stomach pain after having Carson. They are only small gallstones and the pain has not bothered me in a couple of months but they sent me for a blood test to check my liver function. Well I got a letter last week telling me I have a high level of an enzyme in my blood suggesting my liver function is raised. This usually happens when you drink alcohol but I haven't drunk any due to the breastfeeding so I have to go back for another blood test. I'll then have discuss if any further treatment is needed, so might need my gallbladder removed. How appauling is that I'm only 22 years old and may have to have my gall bladder removed!! I keep reminding myself that pregnancy increases the risk of gallstones but can't help thinking my fatty food past hasn't exactly helped! It all adds to my reasons for doing this and why I won't give up.
I know that is just the biggest moan ever but feeling a tad better for it! Despite all this I've stuck to my points and just used a couple of activity points to help stop a major binge. In the past I would have used being ill as an excuse to eat, well to be honest I would have used most things as an excuse to eat. Instead I've just had a curly wurly the last two days as my comfort food and made us mash potato with dinner - both things helped with the food comfort. I think with that list of why I'm being a big old whinge bag proves to me that I really can keep control even at the low points. So actually quite a nice positive out of all my moaning.
Thanks for reading my rather long post. I've got to say this blogging thing isn't bad - it really helps me focus on changing my mindset not just going on a 'diet' to come off the diet. So all in all still feeling motivated and looking forward to weigh in tomorrow night - bring on the scales!
This has kind of led me on to another body related point which is worrying me. I recently got told I have gallstones following several months of on and off stomach pain after having Carson. They are only small gallstones and the pain has not bothered me in a couple of months but they sent me for a blood test to check my liver function. Well I got a letter last week telling me I have a high level of an enzyme in my blood suggesting my liver function is raised. This usually happens when you drink alcohol but I haven't drunk any due to the breastfeeding so I have to go back for another blood test. I'll then have discuss if any further treatment is needed, so might need my gallbladder removed. How appauling is that I'm only 22 years old and may have to have my gall bladder removed!! I keep reminding myself that pregnancy increases the risk of gallstones but can't help thinking my fatty food past hasn't exactly helped! It all adds to my reasons for doing this and why I won't give up.
I know that is just the biggest moan ever but feeling a tad better for it! Despite all this I've stuck to my points and just used a couple of activity points to help stop a major binge. In the past I would have used being ill as an excuse to eat, well to be honest I would have used most things as an excuse to eat. Instead I've just had a curly wurly the last two days as my comfort food and made us mash potato with dinner - both things helped with the food comfort. I think with that list of why I'm being a big old whinge bag proves to me that I really can keep control even at the low points. So actually quite a nice positive out of all my moaning.
Thanks for reading my rather long post. I've got to say this blogging thing isn't bad - it really helps me focus on changing my mindset not just going on a 'diet' to come off the diet. So all in all still feeling motivated and looking forward to weigh in tomorrow night - bring on the scales!
Sunday 11 April 2010
Gateau - No thanks!
Yes you have read the title correctly I actually turned down the offer of a black forest gateau today! We popped round to see Shaun's folks today and despite deciding on the phone the other day that we would eat lunch before going over Shaun's dad had made Coq au van and had gateau for dessert. We'd already eaten a nice filling lunch of pasta and so turned down their offer of an early dinner. Doesn't sound like much of an achievement right, but for me that's a big deal I've always had a problem when it came to turning food down. When we got home I cooked a very nice meal and felt much better about keeping control of what I ate.
I think thats where most of my weight problems come for I have this perfectionist tendancy and hate to feel out of control. I'm 100% or nothing, so either eating everything in site or keeping complete control over what I eating. Its not fun when things are so black and white. I think thats what I'm realising this time, its not just a 'diet' and one bad day does not mean I have failed.
I'm also quite pleased that I haven't turned to food for comfort despite being fairly sleep deprived the last few days, having a sore throat and generally feeling under the weather today. Carson is teething as well, he now has two front teeth that I can feel poking through his gums and he's very grumpy. Hoping he's going to be a bit happier tomorrow and sleep a tad better tonight.
I think thats where most of my weight problems come for I have this perfectionist tendancy and hate to feel out of control. I'm 100% or nothing, so either eating everything in site or keeping complete control over what I eating. Its not fun when things are so black and white. I think thats what I'm realising this time, its not just a 'diet' and one bad day does not mean I have failed.
I'm also quite pleased that I haven't turned to food for comfort despite being fairly sleep deprived the last few days, having a sore throat and generally feeling under the weather today. Carson is teething as well, he now has two front teeth that I can feel poking through his gums and he's very grumpy. Hoping he's going to be a bit happier tomorrow and sleep a tad better tonight.
Friday 9 April 2010
Babies, weightloss and sleepless nights
This blog is mostly a place to share my weightloss ramblings, however this morning I feel the need to blog about my baby boy Carson.
I've been co-sleeping with Carson but feel its time he slept in his own space, being woken up because he wants to feed every half an hour is just not on! Co-sleeping came about after 2 weeks of no sleep and accidently falling asleep on the sofa with Carson when he was a newborn, at this point I realised we needed a new solution as the sofa is a very dangerous place for a small baby. He was never one of those babies that was happy to sleep in his moses basket or his cot, from day 1 he has only ever been happy sleeping on/or with me and Shaun. However we had an incident a few weeks ago when Carson decided to stop breathing and since then I've felt alot happier with him in his cot with the breathing monitor rather than sleeping next to me. I worry so much that he'll stop breathing in the night and I won't realise!
Carson spent his first full night in his cot last night, thanks mostly to his Daddy who got up alot during the night to settle him. This morning I'm feeling very pleased with Carson and rather guilty as we were meant to be sharing the task and I for various reason's seem to have done alot less than half the work. I'd like to add this isn't entirely due to me being a lazy moo but still feeling mighty guilty. Oh well hopefully I'm making up to Shaun a little as I've brought Carson downstairs to let him get some sleep.
I love my baby boy more than anything but I have to say no matter how hard people tell you having a baby is you never believe them. I found it alot like my perception of learning drive, I know this sounds odd but bear with me. Before I had my first lesson I thought well so many people drive how hard can it be. Then I get in the car for my lesson and he starts explaining how I'm supposed to be doing about 5 things at once, 6 months later I pass my test first time and 5 years later I drive without thinking and can't imgine life without my car. This is exactly how I felt about having a baby, how hard can it be? Well trust me alot harder than you'd ever believe, trying to juggle normal life and a baby seems impossible sometimes. Despite this I still feel its time to get rid of this weight once and for all. So on to weightloss matters....
In 3 days I have earnt 8 activity points and I'm feeling rather pleased about that. I've been walking, gone back to the gym for the first time since before I was pregnant and done an exercise dvd! The gym wasn't as bad as I was expecting, before I fell pregnant I'd managed to jog for 5 minutes on the treadmill. Well yesterday I jogged for 3 minutes out of 10, doesn't sound much right but to me thats huge. Jogging and me have just never seen eye to eye but I think its one of the best ways of improving my fitness level. Hoping I can do at least 3 minutes or more next time. I have creche time booked for Tuesday and Friday morning and shock shock horror I'm actually looking forward to getting back to the gym.
I'm loving the new me - being a Mummy, feeling motivated and enjoying life. It feels a world away from the person I was before I had Carson. I was an anxious wreck who felt out of control of my life and generally worthless. Now I remember that I'm not worthless Shaun, Carson and my family love me and now I just need to learn to love me too!
I've been co-sleeping with Carson but feel its time he slept in his own space, being woken up because he wants to feed every half an hour is just not on! Co-sleeping came about after 2 weeks of no sleep and accidently falling asleep on the sofa with Carson when he was a newborn, at this point I realised we needed a new solution as the sofa is a very dangerous place for a small baby. He was never one of those babies that was happy to sleep in his moses basket or his cot, from day 1 he has only ever been happy sleeping on/or with me and Shaun. However we had an incident a few weeks ago when Carson decided to stop breathing and since then I've felt alot happier with him in his cot with the breathing monitor rather than sleeping next to me. I worry so much that he'll stop breathing in the night and I won't realise!
Carson spent his first full night in his cot last night, thanks mostly to his Daddy who got up alot during the night to settle him. This morning I'm feeling very pleased with Carson and rather guilty as we were meant to be sharing the task and I for various reason's seem to have done alot less than half the work. I'd like to add this isn't entirely due to me being a lazy moo but still feeling mighty guilty. Oh well hopefully I'm making up to Shaun a little as I've brought Carson downstairs to let him get some sleep.
I love my baby boy more than anything but I have to say no matter how hard people tell you having a baby is you never believe them. I found it alot like my perception of learning drive, I know this sounds odd but bear with me. Before I had my first lesson I thought well so many people drive how hard can it be. Then I get in the car for my lesson and he starts explaining how I'm supposed to be doing about 5 things at once, 6 months later I pass my test first time and 5 years later I drive without thinking and can't imgine life without my car. This is exactly how I felt about having a baby, how hard can it be? Well trust me alot harder than you'd ever believe, trying to juggle normal life and a baby seems impossible sometimes. Despite this I still feel its time to get rid of this weight once and for all. So on to weightloss matters....
In 3 days I have earnt 8 activity points and I'm feeling rather pleased about that. I've been walking, gone back to the gym for the first time since before I was pregnant and done an exercise dvd! The gym wasn't as bad as I was expecting, before I fell pregnant I'd managed to jog for 5 minutes on the treadmill. Well yesterday I jogged for 3 minutes out of 10, doesn't sound much right but to me thats huge. Jogging and me have just never seen eye to eye but I think its one of the best ways of improving my fitness level. Hoping I can do at least 3 minutes or more next time. I have creche time booked for Tuesday and Friday morning and shock shock horror I'm actually looking forward to getting back to the gym.
I'm loving the new me - being a Mummy, feeling motivated and enjoying life. It feels a world away from the person I was before I had Carson. I was an anxious wreck who felt out of control of my life and generally worthless. Now I remember that I'm not worthless Shaun, Carson and my family love me and now I just need to learn to love me too!
Thursday 8 April 2010
Exercise
So I went to the gym this morning with the obvious aim of working out, however I hadn't booked any creche time and it was packed. So no gym for me, boo! I got home all dressed in my gym gear and feeling like I wanted to exercise (a strange new feeling, seriously what have they done with the real me!). I remembered that I had two fitness dvds' so broke out the Rosemary Conley Salsacise.
Curtains firmly shut (I'm not sure the neighbours would appreciate my hip wiggling) I got my workout. I'm now feeling rather pleased with myself as I would normally have just accepted defeat and put off exercising until tomorrow. Wouldn't be much of a lifestyle change if I was so easily put off exercising, would it.
Also been for a walk this morning in the sunshine. I'm loving the sunshine, makes me feel so positive. I feel so positive I'm actually worried I might burst! :D
Curtains firmly shut (I'm not sure the neighbours would appreciate my hip wiggling) I got my workout. I'm now feeling rather pleased with myself as I would normally have just accepted defeat and put off exercising until tomorrow. Wouldn't be much of a lifestyle change if I was so easily put off exercising, would it.
Also been for a walk this morning in the sunshine. I'm loving the sunshine, makes me feel so positive. I feel so positive I'm actually worried I might burst! :D
Wednesday 7 April 2010
Well hello teens....
long time no see! I lost 4.5lbs this week! Yay this puts me at 19st 12.5lbs - I actually weigh 19st something I cannot remember the last time my weight was in the teens!
I'm feeling so motivated its unreal, when people say 'something just clicked' I really get them now. It feels so different this time around and I'm hoping it lasts, the way I feel I actually see me getting to goal. I know it'll take time but I'm not so put off by the amount I have to lose.
I'm now 1lb away from my third silver seven and hoping to get that next week!
I'm feeling so motivated its unreal, when people say 'something just clicked' I really get them now. It feels so different this time around and I'm hoping it lasts, the way I feel I actually see me getting to goal. I know it'll take time but I'm not so put off by the amount I have to lose.
I'm now 1lb away from my third silver seven and hoping to get that next week!
Tuesday 6 April 2010
One tiny blip...
We went round to see my mother and father in law to be tonight, it was great to see them however I had a small mishap with the points side of things. I knew that we'd be having steak and jacket potato but I failed to expect a t-bone steak followed by mississippi mud pie, which of course I could have said no too!
So a few points over today but not disheartened by it, at the end of the day there are going to be times where food is out of my control and I just have except that. I had left nearly half my daily points for tonight so it wasn't like I'd planned to go over. Overall I'm quite proud of myself really, I mean there was a second helping of mud pie available - who can resist that?! Oh me - well new me anyway!
Feeling quite positive and weigh in is tomorrow so keeping my fingers crossed for a good loss. I'd love to lose 3.5lbs as that'd take me into the 19's but being realistic I'd just be happy with a loss. I'm loving that something has just clicked this time, it feels totally different to the previous times I've done weight watchers, I finally think I'm beginning to see the bigger picture and doing this as a lifestyle change not just a quick fix. This doesn't just feel like the intial motivation that wears off after time - here's hoping this lasts!
So a few points over today but not disheartened by it, at the end of the day there are going to be times where food is out of my control and I just have except that. I had left nearly half my daily points for tonight so it wasn't like I'd planned to go over. Overall I'm quite proud of myself really, I mean there was a second helping of mud pie available - who can resist that?! Oh me - well new me anyway!
Feeling quite positive and weigh in is tomorrow so keeping my fingers crossed for a good loss. I'd love to lose 3.5lbs as that'd take me into the 19's but being realistic I'd just be happy with a loss. I'm loving that something has just clicked this time, it feels totally different to the previous times I've done weight watchers, I finally think I'm beginning to see the bigger picture and doing this as a lifestyle change not just a quick fix. This doesn't just feel like the intial motivation that wears off after time - here's hoping this lasts!
Sunday 4 April 2010
Easter Sunday
I've never really got the big deal about Easter. I can understand it if your religious but why do the rest of us use it as an excuse to over indulge?!
So this year I have kept the excesses to a minimum and stayed within my points - shock shock horror! I really am in the right frame of mind at the moment. I have planned to have treats this weekend such as a chinese, a Mr Whippy ice cream, Sunday roast, a lindt bunny and a chinese. This has never happened before - what have they done with the real me! I never knew what a good feeling I could get from actually being able to say no and make the right choices. Is this what slim people do everyday - say no?
I'm hoping this really is a change for life not just a hop on the wagon to get off again when the weight is gone or I'm in a bad mood or when a large chocolate eclair calls to me. I'm even beginning to see that the weight isn't actully what I should be concentrating on. I should be concentrating on how much exercise I'm doing, what dress size I am and how many inches/cm's I've lost. The scales help reflect the overall goal but ultimatly its not about what the scales say its about being able to buy smaller clothes and feel fitter.
I'm only just coming round to this way of thinking as of last night. I was sat working out how much weight I could lose between now and September when my other half pointed out that I should be setting dress size and exercise goals. Its not all about the numbers.
Bring on the new positive, motivated, fitter, slimmer and overall happier me!
So this year I have kept the excesses to a minimum and stayed within my points - shock shock horror! I really am in the right frame of mind at the moment. I have planned to have treats this weekend such as a chinese, a Mr Whippy ice cream, Sunday roast, a lindt bunny and a chinese. This has never happened before - what have they done with the real me! I never knew what a good feeling I could get from actually being able to say no and make the right choices. Is this what slim people do everyday - say no?
I'm hoping this really is a change for life not just a hop on the wagon to get off again when the weight is gone or I'm in a bad mood or when a large chocolate eclair calls to me. I'm even beginning to see that the weight isn't actully what I should be concentrating on. I should be concentrating on how much exercise I'm doing, what dress size I am and how many inches/cm's I've lost. The scales help reflect the overall goal but ultimatly its not about what the scales say its about being able to buy smaller clothes and feel fitter.
I'm only just coming round to this way of thinking as of last night. I was sat working out how much weight I could lose between now and September when my other half pointed out that I should be setting dress size and exercise goals. Its not all about the numbers.
Bring on the new positive, motivated, fitter, slimmer and overall happier me!
Friday 2 April 2010
The first steps
I've just re-joined weight watchers after giving birth to my gorgeous son 6 months ago. I really feel like my head is in the right place for it this time and I seem to be making proper changes to my lifestyle. I've done weight watchers several times but never really made any lasting changes. I would usually just adapt my diet to include all the same rubbish just within my points. Weight watchers is all about not feeling restricted but healthy choices really are a must for long term success.
My motivating factor at the moment is that my Mum will be getting married in september. I'm so excited for her as I didn't think she'd ever marry again. Its nice to see her happy with someone as she really deserves it! Anyway I can't stand the thought of yet more cringe worthy photo's of me alot bigger than I want to be. This isn't just any wedding where I can put the photo's away never to see the light of day again. Also on the day we'll be sitting at the head table - all eyes on us! Not a nice thought when the only place I can shop for a dress is Evans! So the motivation is a size 20/22 dress from somewhere nice like Monsoon or Debenhams. I'm currently around a size 24/26 and to be honest haven't bought any new clothes since before I fell pregnant. Instead of buying new clothes at this size it is my goal to get on my way to a healthy weight.
I thought I might just be happy getting back down to the size I was in college so around a size 18, but I've never been one to shy away from a challenge. I'm setting my sights high and going for gold this time. I've set my goal weight for the time being at 11stone 4lbs which will be exactly 10stone loss. This might change nearer the time. There's so many reasons to do it this time, I'm not going to let that I've failed in the past dictate my success this time around.
The motivation is obviously paying off as at my first weigh on Wednesday I lost 5lbs. I've offically lost a 1st 1.5lbs since I first re-joined after my 6 week check. Only 9stone to go until my target! :)
My motivating factor at the moment is that my Mum will be getting married in september. I'm so excited for her as I didn't think she'd ever marry again. Its nice to see her happy with someone as she really deserves it! Anyway I can't stand the thought of yet more cringe worthy photo's of me alot bigger than I want to be. This isn't just any wedding where I can put the photo's away never to see the light of day again. Also on the day we'll be sitting at the head table - all eyes on us! Not a nice thought when the only place I can shop for a dress is Evans! So the motivation is a size 20/22 dress from somewhere nice like Monsoon or Debenhams. I'm currently around a size 24/26 and to be honest haven't bought any new clothes since before I fell pregnant. Instead of buying new clothes at this size it is my goal to get on my way to a healthy weight.
I thought I might just be happy getting back down to the size I was in college so around a size 18, but I've never been one to shy away from a challenge. I'm setting my sights high and going for gold this time. I've set my goal weight for the time being at 11stone 4lbs which will be exactly 10stone loss. This might change nearer the time. There's so many reasons to do it this time, I'm not going to let that I've failed in the past dictate my success this time around.
The motivation is obviously paying off as at my first weigh on Wednesday I lost 5lbs. I've offically lost a 1st 1.5lbs since I first re-joined after my 6 week check. Only 9stone to go until my target! :)
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