Thursday, 26 July 2012

Week 5 weigh in

I lost 4lbs!! 

Wow just proves to me why even after a couple of bad days the week is not lost. I should always try to draw the line and move on. I feel like I've got to work hard this week though to make sure it doesn't catch up with me next week. However being realistic a stay the same next week wouldn't surprise me. Just hoping I can work hard enough to keep me weight going down. I'm not sure I feel like my 4lb was deserved but maybe I didn't as badly as I thought. On another note I just read this in an article 

 "It's the same with your tasks: start, and your brain will overcome the first hurdle. This seemingly small milestone appears to be the most important one to overcome if you wish to defeat procrastination. After starting a task, your brain will be more enticed to finish it to it's "conclusion." You also tend to see that it's not as big a mountain as you initially imagined, and that the work involved in completing this task won't be so terrifying after all."

The last line really stuck with me that this task won't be as terrifying as I first thought. Imagining losing weight and being a healthy weight felt daunting and out of my reach. However when I get down to it I'm not going to lose all the weight at once and the task in hand isn't as difficult as I imagined it to be. I have to chip away at my weight over time and the hurdles I have to overcome involve staying motivated even when I have difficult times. Its not about viewing it overall but just starting and making the effort each week to stick with it.

I am terrible for procrastinating so I'm going to make an effort to start tasks that bother me as I'm much more likely to continue. I will not put off exercising, I will not put off getting back on track after a blip and I will push myself to keep going even through the bad times. The thought of this journey is far more terrifying than the reality of it and I need to remember that!

I'm so happy today and really looking forward to the next week. Just hoping now that I will be well enough to start exercising again soon. Here's to another good week x

Monday, 23 July 2012

Still feeling it

Still feeling very in control. In fact I've eaten my breakfast, lunch and dinner and have 9 points left.

Can't believe I lost it now it feels so easy when I have my good head on! Also still hoping I might be able to pull off a stay the same at weigh in on Wednesday.

Long may it continue!!

Sunday, 22 July 2012

Just might have managed...

...a whole day on track!

I have 1 daily point left and have tracked everything today! I'm feeling so pleased with myself and really feel that I have found my motivation again. I hated feeling out of control and emotional so it feels great to be back.

I missed feeling like this, food has nothing on this feeling. I must MUST remember how good it feels getting back on track and with any luck the next time I have a slip up I can read this post and remind myself why a bad meal, bad day or bad week doesn't have to carry on past that. A gain doesn't mean I'm back to square one it just means I'm human and sometimes life will get in the way. If I learn from this then it isn't a failure just a chance to learn how to succeed in the future.

Here's hoping three days on track can undo some or all of the damage from the start of this week xx

Saturday, 21 July 2012

Drawing a line

I'm not quite sure how you draw a line and move on. Its not something I'm very good at doing and I need to learn. For me a bad day in the past has nearly always lead to a bad week. I'm having a bad week! I've been over my points for most of the week and eaten terribly. Each night I say I'm going to start afresh and go into the next day with good intentions.

I haven't eaten badly at every meal and I haven't been as bad as I could have been so I should see that a bit of a victory. However I feel guilty and I'm dreading the thought of gaining again this week. What I really need to do is get to the bottom of why I'm emotionally eating!

The first reason is I've been unwell and only just beginning to feel more like my normal self after a week. I hate not being able to help round the house or be able to look after my kids. I don't like feeling weak or out of control. As a result I have felt depressed especially in the evenings. I have been looking for comfort in food and not finding it.

The second reason is a family problem between me and my step family. Basically my step brother had a massive go at me and my husband via facebook and it turns out he's disliked us for a while now. I'm feeling feeling awful because my Mum and her Husband have ended up in the middle of all of this!

So for those reasons I've been struggling to stay on track this week and just wanted to make myself feel better with food. Its not worked of course and now I've just added the worry of gaining to my list of reasons to feel down. As much as I feel like eating rubbish it really doesn't help.

If I stay on track now for tomorrow through til Wednesday there's still a chance I could get away with staying the same or only a small gain. Its never too late to turn things around and lets face it even if I gain I'm not going to gain the full 13lbs I've lost! If I can get my head back in the right place then I'll be in a position to lose the following week and continue with my journey. So I need to see tomorrow as a brand new day of a brand new week and the first step of the rest of my weight loss journey.

I also need to remind myself that comfort eating is the reason I'm having to lose all this weight in the first place and losing weight makes me feel millions times better than food ever can. I felt on top of the world when I was doing well with my weight loss and I couldn't imagine losing that feeling. Now I've lost my motivation and struggling but weight loss success felt amazing!

So on to a new day, a fresh start and the first step back on the path to weight loss and ultimately happiness about my body.

Thursday, 19 July 2012

Got to find that motivation

Motivation well and truly lost thanks to this stupid illness. I'm feeling so down tonight and I REALLY need to get back on track.

So aims for tomorrow are to eat healthy meals, stay within my points and try to feel a little more positive. One day at a time!

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Weigh in

I gained 1lb which I was very much expecting.

I have been very ill this week and ended up staying in hospital on Friday night with breathing problems. They think possibly a chest infection and I'm recovering on a high dose of anti-biotic's. I've eaten terribly since I got home and was actually expecting more. I'm completely fine with what I gained and under the circumstances I'm not going to feel bad about it!

I am however intending to get back on track as I don't want anything to get in the way of my weight loss journey. There is no excuse to go mad and eat rubbish all week. If I can stay the same or lose a small amount next week I will be very pleased.

Its difficult because I rarely crave healthy food and so its fighting the urge to eat junk. I know that eating rubbish makes me feel rubbish though so I'm really going to make the effort to eat well.

Its been an awful week and I've been feeling really down because of it all. My Mum has been looking after my kids for me and I've been really missing them! Just want to feel better now, its horrible feeling so weak!

Anyway to a good week food wise, its the one thing I have control over!

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Weigh in

I lost 1lb! I would have liked 2 if I'm honest but you know what its a loss, I got my first stone and so I am a happy bunny!

I do feel there was room to improve this week. I can make better choices and be a little more organised. So going to go for at least another lb next week to get my 5%

Loving seeing the numbers go down :D


I'm bored waiting around for it to be time to go to weigh in. Obviously I'm looking after the kids so not mega bored but just want it to hurry up and be half 6!

On a good note I braved the gym on Monday night. I've only been using the pool since we rejoined a few months ago and Monday was the first day I went in the gym. I was very proud of myself for pushing myself and managed to complete the 3rd run of week 1 on the couch to 5k programme. I so could have just turned round and walked straight out again when I saw all the people on the treadmills much slimmer than me and running like it was the easiest thing in the world. Then there's me who's doing the slowest jog ever but a jog none the less!

I certainly worked hard though I came out of that gym sweating and feeling so impressed with myself. I followed that with a 45 minute swim with a few lengths of front crawl thrown in. I swear it feels like its been years since I did front crawl!

So despite an interesting start to the week feeling like I was struggling I ended the week on a high with alot of activity and new experiences. I really must remember how exercising makes me feel, I felt amazing walking out of that gym. I was full of energy and on such a high. Food never makes me feel that good, exercise gave me a high without having the guilt attached to it. I'm also feeling fitter, I used to think fitness took ages to increase but I've realised I can improve my fitness quite quickly as it was so low to start with.

Now I'm just waiting for weigh in to arrive and hoping for a good loss. Always nervous and worrying that I might get a stay the same or worse a gain! I don't know why with all the activity, staying under my points and generally feeling a bit lighter really shouldn't be worrying. Oh well better get used to it I have a feeling I will worry about weigh in every week!

I feel so happy these days and I never want to go back to old unmotivated miserable me! Bring on the scales!

Thursday, 5 July 2012

Little struggle

The last two days have been the first days that I've felt like overeating and I'm not quite sure why. Its not really been due to emotional reasons I've just been hungry and felt like eating sugar?!

I know today was probably because I had a friend over so didn't eat a proper lunch just had a slice of toast with Philadelphia on. It meant I was really hungry this afternoon so made different choices. I'm still well within my points for the day but don't feel I've eaten properly so have a bit of guilt over that. I did use some of my weekly points yesterday but again I was within my points with plenty of weekly points left to last until Tuesday . So basically I don't know why I'm feeling guilty? I've not eaten great but still within my points, I've not done loads of activity but I've still been active and even though I've had a couple of iffy days I've still made much better choices! Maybe I should stop beating myself up and see the positives!

I've got 5 days to fit loads of activity in and really push for that 2lb loss next week. So I need to chill out and see how far I've come in 2 short weeks!

I'm glad I wrote all this down as it was bugging me and the guilt over the last 2 days was getting me down and I don't think I really had anything to feel guilty about!

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Week 2 weigh in

I lost 5lbs this week! I can't believe it and I'm now only 1lb off my first stone, 2lbs off my 5% and 3.5lbs away from being in the 19 stone bracket!

I've really enjoyed it and not feeling deprived at all. In fact I've actually felt guilty at times feeling like I can't possibly eat food like this and lose weight. I think it comes from all the fad diets and that being on a 'diet' in the past meant going without. This week I have had chocolate, I have eaten out, we have had a Chinese takeaway, I have had pudding and so on. Basically I have enjoyed my food and eaten small amounts of the foods I've craved.

I've done alot of activity as well so I do feel like it was a deserved loss. I'm going to really push myself this week because I would love to lose 2lbs and get my 5%. I've also done the second run in the couch to 5k programme. I found it alot harder than the first run but still completed it so was really proud of myself. I'm hoping to fit in 3 runs this week as I really want to progress and improve my fitness level.

All in all I've had a fantastic week, still feel crazy positive and motivated! Loving feeling so in control and looking forward to another week!