Friday, 16 July 2010


What a difference a week makes. This time last week it was all so easy, I was actually finding myself eating under my points with out even meaning to. I also found it so easy to avoid all the rubbish on offer at the bbq last weekend.

Why then am I finding it so hard this week. This is now my third day where I'm going to go over my points. I had chips from the chip shop for lunch followed by a cornetto ice cream. Along with all the other stuff I've eaten today I have 4 points left for the day! Its like I want to fail sometimes! I just don't know why I'm finding it so hard today I just want to eat and eat. Its not even that I'm craving rubbish food I'm craving the binge feeling.

I guess I am feeling rather depressed about this whole situation. Nothing has changed on the job front and its so hard to remain positive when nothing seems to be changing. I know it could take just one phone call and a contract will be arranged and started before I even know it but waiting for the shred of hope takes it out of me. I don't want to use this as an excuse to eat and go off the rails. I realise that I can't have control of most things at the moment but my weight and food is something I can keep control of. I also know it'll make feel better to feel like I'm achieving something not just letting everything go.

*Sigh* life is hard work at times isn't it! Oh well life goes on and the least I can do is not go mad for the rest of the day and get it back on track tomorrow for the rest of the week.

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