Back to basics

So I stayed the same at weigh in tonight. Despite my words of encouragement to my other half about the fact that he stayed the same I feel very disappointed! Its silly isn't it not more than 2hrs ago I was saying that its better than a gain and some weeks this just happens, it'll probably show up next week. Yet I still feel so annoyed by my stay the same! It wasn't helped by the fact that I am only 0.5lbs away from reaching my 3 stone loss. To add insult to injury the scales flicked up from 18st 4.5lbs to 18st 5lbs - grrrrr!!

So I've asked myself where could I improve to ensure I get a loss next week...

1. Portion control - we bought a couple of tubs of ice cream and I feel that maybe I was a little bit to liberal with my portions sizes. So going to avoid the tubs and go for individually wrapped stuff this week
2. Carson has dropped feeds and I'm still getting 5 points extra for breastfeeding. I'm not sure if I really need that much extra these days considering he only feeds 5 times a day. So I'm going to drop a point this week and see if that helps.
3. Exercise - or the lack of. I did a long walk on Sunday but not much else the rest of the week. My best weeks were when I walked for at least 30mins a day. I'm also considering starting the couch to 5k that everyone of the weight watcher forums raves about. I really feel like I should be upping my activity levels.
4. Sneaky extras when cooking, guesstimating and generally getting a tad complacent. So I'm going to, as my leader said, track, track and track some more! No more sneaky extras - I'm only lying to myself!
   
5. I also had a blip on Sunday - So I'm going to aim to keep within points for the week as I finished the week slightly over my points allowance. I appreciate that sometimes this won't always go to plan but I can try.
   

Well I think that's plenty to be getting on with! Goodness me when its all written down like that it really does show me why I had a stay the same. I kind of deserved it to be honest! And as I said before at least it wasn't a gain.

So I'm off to have a positive, active, back to basics week and see what that brings for me this time next week! xx

Feeling good

I went shopping with my mum yesterday looking for page boy outfits for her wedding and various other wedding related stuff. We ended up in debenhams to buy shoes for her and saw that they were having a sale. I noticed that there were loads of Rocha John Rocha dresses in size 22 reduced so thought I'd have a sift through. Well I've only gone and got my dress for Mum's wedding 2 months before its needed... oops! It was just so pretty and my mum kept saying how it really suited me and made me look my age. Its so different to what I would have choosen before. Here's a photo...

I was on such a high afterwads because I tried about 10 dresses on all size 22 and they all fit comfortably! The one I got was actually the tightest of the lot so theres some room to lose more. Mum also said if its too big by the wedding she'll get it altered for me.

It was the first time I could actually tell I've lost weight. I think its because I haven't really bought any new clothes so all my old stuff is getting big but doesn't show that I'm slimmer. Who knows, I'm just over the moon to be this size now! I'm thinking another stone by Mum's wedding is within reach.

My Mum is fab she paid for me to have my hair cut as well so I came home yesterday feeling so good about myself. Another NSV was that usually when sat in the hairdressers I spend that whole time looking at how round my face was but I didn't yesterday. If anything I was noticing that my cheeks aren't looking as chubby and I'm sure my double chin has gone down too!

Basically feeling awesome now and so motivated to carry on!

Weigh in

I'm pleased as I lost 2.5lbs and I really wasn't sure what this week would bring so more than happy with that. Its kind of annoying that I was 3lbs away from my silver seven so only half a pound! Anyway as my leader said it'll keep me motivated this week (well in theory).

So bring on the week! :D

3...2...1....boom

Who pressed the self destruct button ... oh right that'd be you then mother nature huh?

What is with hormones and monthly bloomin' cycles! As I've mentioned previously I suffer with an anxiety problem which was pretty bad before falling pregnant (panic attacks the works). Then I got pregnant and went on to breastfeed so no periods for over a year and guess what... I was so mellow, calm and coped really well. Now my monthly cycle is bad I'm back on the hormone roller coaster. Normal women get pmt I get pmt plus vivid thoughts of my loved ones meeting a horrible end in everyday situations, social anxiety, a fear of the future and end up feeling pretty depressed in general. *Sigh* Its getting rather annoying to be honest.

In my head I'm a rational person then a few days a month I go a tad loopy juice and end up in 'one of those moods'. This happened yesterday and I went into to self destruct with food which continued into today. I don't feel too bad as I know this is just a blip but I want it to end today and have a fresh start tomorrow. If I can do damage control maybe just maybe I can swing a small loss this week. Also a small victory was that before going a little bit mad I actually tried distraction techniques and managed to keep myself away from food for 2 hrs. So in the end I gave in but to actually be able to have a tiny amount of logic before just launching into a binge, well thats a victory in my book. Before it was eat first ask questions later.

The really annoying thing about this whole episode and the return of the anxiety is for the first time in a long time I'm Happy! So money isn't great and I have a long journey ahead of me regarding losing weight. Since having my son I couldn't be happier. Shaun and I are very much in love and I have my gorgeous son who makes me smile everyday. I really feel like I'm a very lucky girl to have such a wonderful little family. So why do these feelings keep popping up?! This is what I hate about having a mental illness a) people don't take you seriously and b) does it ever end?? Will I always have an anxiety problem?

So I think I need to get myself back down the Dr's and get myself on the waiting list for CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) again. I was previously on the waiting list but just as I got an appointment come through we were moving house and so on true nhs form that means I have to start the whole process off again! I just can't stand the thought of going through this with no real end in sight.

Sorry for the long post and rather in depth personal life stuff, but it really does help get my head straight to just get it all down.

Happy

I'm feeling happy today which is nice. Finding out I'd lost 6 lbs this week very much helped! I'm now only 3lbs away from getting my sixth silver seven so 3 stone loss!

So of my aims I set last week I did loads of activity, planned what I was going to eat most days, tracked everything, I did go over my points at the weekend but most days I was within or close to my points and used less than half my activity points. So all in all very pleased that I seem to have got back in to the swing of things.

I'm going to try and do the same if not more this week. Hopefully I could get a 3lb loss next week but I'd be happy with any loss. I keep getting the warning on weight watchers that I'm losing too much weight and I should slow my weightloss. However I'm not too worried as I know full well I'm not going without or eating under my points I'm just exercising more and tracking so...? I certainly don't want to intentionally slow my weightloss and I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts knowing full well it will come to end to be replaced with 1lb-2lb losses.

I took Carson to an under 1's playgroup today which was interesting. He's not a very gentle baby and there was younger babies there who don't appreciate having their faces scratched and pulled. Hmm I'm thinking this is something we've got to work on, I spent the whole time worrying and following him. Oh well he's still my gorgeous little man and he doesn't mean it bless him.

Here's to another fab week!

I forgot..

In my haze of bad days over the weekend I completely forgot to post about my discovery. I had a bit of spare time the other day while I was in the city so decided to see how far a size 22 dress was. Turns out not far at all considering they fit! I couldn't do the zip because I was on my own but they would have done all the way up. I was fairly chuffed to say the least. I also fit into size 24 trousers comfortably so even though I've had a pants week I still had a fantastic non scale victory. I'm not going to set the goal as completed for reaching size 22 as theres room for improvement and they may have done up but the looking good bit is still to come. Here's a picture:

Its just so fab as I was wanting to be in a size 22 by September for Mum's wedding and still have 3 months to go! Maybe a size 20 now?

So far on track today,have eaten loads of filling foods and already have my 2 activity points. Its a good feeling being back on track.

Life's a journey not a destination

... and my path has veered off course slightly. I gained 1.5lbs this week, which I fully expected but is still disappointing. But life goes on and I'm going to get back to basics this week.

So I've been flicking through my weight watchers binder to try and figure out what could be doing differently. I've just gone through the section about filling foods and streching your points. I haven't been doing this lately, I think sometimes I get complacent because I have quite high points and end up ending alot of treat food instead of filling foods. I've decided to plan what I'm eating tomorrow and even though I'm at home I've packed up my lunch and snacks. I've planned in treats and left a few points spare. Just hoping it'll kick start me into tracking properly and stick to my points for a whole week.

This week I'm going to aim to do the following each day in an attempt to get my mojo back for more than just a week!

1. Reach my healthy steps and earn at least 2 activity points a day
2. Keep within or close to my points each day or for as many days as possible (trying not to set myself up to fail)
   
3. Eat 3 portions of fruit and veg
   
4. Have a filling breakfast everyday
5. Drink plenty of water/squash
6. Track everything even if I have gone over
7. Write a blog each day to help keep the emotional eating at bay

I'm going to try and do as many of those things as possible and we'll see if t pays off next wednesday. I'm kind of hoping it to last for more than one week but going to think about it one day at a time. Wish me luck! :)